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I Help Business Owners Increase Conversions With Long Form Direct Response Sales Letters

The following is a spec piece created after taking an exclusive copywriting course from Mike Shreeve (coined as “the most prolific copywriter” of 2014 by Success Magazine)

The brief Mike gave me was the following:

Client: Sam

  • Sam runs an ecommerce company that sells products and accessories for the “tough guy beard crowd”

  • He needs help selling his products

  • He wants to come across as a brand for tough guys but doesn’t want to sound overly hyped up

  • Wants to break 20 million this year in sales.

Because Sam wants to break $20 million, I made sure this letter was targeted towards people who are Problem Unaware, and alert them to their problem of improper beard grooming. I found through my research that lots of guys surprisingly didn’t know much about beard oil and didn’t use it at all, even if they had a beard.

This project was a challenge to get out of my comfort zone, because this is one niche I am definitely not a part of. It was also a lot of fun to write!

 

These Letters Will Increase Your Conversion Rate, Guaranteed.

You’re juggling enough tasks in your business already. If copywriting is the piece you need to have taken care of, don’t try to hack away at it yourself.

As a copywriter, I know my craft well enough to get you what you need, so you can focus on what YOU’RE good at.

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(Plus $100!)

 

If you’ve decided you aren’t happy with my letter within 90 days, I’ll return all your money plus $100 for wasting your time.

There’s no way I’m taking your money without giving you ROI, no matter what.

That means there’s no losing for you.

I really love copy. And I would love to be able to work with you.

Because I’ve been been well-trained by someone so prolific, I know I can get you results.

Let’s see if our calendars line up. If your company needs a direct response sales letter (or if you’d just like to increase your conversions), email me at info@patrickdoody.com or hit that button below.

And without further ado, here is the piece:


 If you want to upgrade your physical appearance and gain influence over other people without going to the gym every day for six months straight, buying hundreds of dollars of new clothes, or getting a barber shop cut for $150, then read the rest of this letter.

To Anyone With A Beard: Can This Tiny Vial Of Oil Give You A Promotion?

If you know anything about people, you know that first impressions count. And so if you’re trying to climb the career ladder, impress women you like, or just be looked at as a stand-up guy, you need to have a bottom line for your appearance. This vial of oil can help you establish that bottom line... and you will be surprised at how fast other people's eyes will light up when they talk to you.

Do you ever wonder why some men have amazing textures in their beard.. but you look like you have someone else’s hair glued onto your face?

Don't worry.

This happens to lots of people.

Some guys are so lucky that they just have it grown in perfectly. They still have to groom it. They still have to take care of it. But it looks amazing.

But some people have beards that just look like crap.

So what are you supposed to do if your genetics suck? Are you just supposed to go through life without having an awesome beard?

If you're like me, when you were in high school and you saw other guys growing beards, you really want to grow one too. And maybe you were thinking by the time I'm 20 years old or 25 years old, I'll have this big awesome beard.

And then you grew up, the hair started coming in.

Any thought to yourself, well, I just have to be patient.

I just have to let this happen over the years.

And you waited and you waited and you waited.

And you know what?

It never happened.

You still had those areas of patchiness.

They still grew in loose and crappy and they never really looked the way you wanted it to look.

This can be really disappointing.

So what are you supposed to do if you have these terrible genetics?

You could look in the mirror and use your imagination, and rationalize how “okay” it looks. (Knowing deep down that other people don’t think it’s very impressive looking)

Or you could work on fixing it with proper grooming tools. You can take responsibility. Once you do this, you’ll go into an upward spiral...

  • You’ll instantly feel more confident

  • People will sense this, and they will naturally grow to like you more

  • This will make you feel more confident

  • And so the cycle continues...

If you’re that kind of guy (who takes responsibility), you should know about the tools which can help you achieve something closer to the full beard that you've always wanted.

Do You Think Your Beard Is Just Going To Get Better With Time?

Let me tell you something.

If you’ve just compromised and went along with how your genetics dictated you would look—other people noticed this.

Maybe you've gotten some mocking jokes from your friends saying you, say, look like a homeless man. And you kind of just go along with it.

I'm here to tell you now, if your friends are making fun of you saying you look like a homeless man, you probably look like a homeless man.

Now, I'm not saying this is definitely true for you. Maybe it’s not.

Maybe your friends are just jerks.

But the way your beard looks and the way you rationalize your beard looks are two different things.

If you’re a rationalizer, this will get in the way of your success.

I'm talking about success in the workplace, success with your social life, and, yes, success with women...

An unkept beard is not going to help you...

But I have a tool which you might find interesting.

So, to introduce myself:

My name is Sam. I've been running a beard oil company for several years now. I love 80s metal, tattoo art, and powerlifting...

I have among the best tools in the world to help you.

It's called Mad Viking Beard Oil.

If you haven't heard of beard oil, it’s a combination of different oils which soak into your beard which give it texture and richness.

And it's really going to compliment the way your beard looks.

  • It's going to make you feel more refreshed throughout the day.

  • It's going to make you feel more confident.

  • You’re going to look more put together and more professional.

  • People are going to be just a little bit nicer at work...

  • Your friends will give you just a little bit more respect...

  • And women (or your woman) will take just a few more glances at you while you’re minding your own business...

This is truly what we're all about as a company. We know that making you look better is going to improve your life at large.

You should have been dressing professionally and have had bearable social skills already. Any losers or slobs reading this letter obviously don’t care about personal progress anyway, but the better men certainly do.

But here are a few more benefits. You’ll be able to:

  • Have a soothing way to get rid of the notorious beard itch (yes, beard oil cleans up the pores in your skin and can really can help with your itchiness)

  • Make your beard grow in thicker in the long term (for those of you suffering from PBS, Patchy Beard Syndrome)

  • Have your secret way to feel refreshed every single morning

  • Give your beard the texture you’ve always wanted (without giving up your “hillbilly” look if you don’t want to)

  • Join the ranks of guys with supposedly “better genetics”...

So What Makes Us Special?

Through all the revenue we’ve made as a company, we’ve been able to purchase state of the art oil refining machinery only owned by 10 other people on earth.

From all of the natural ingredients which will make your skin and your beard breathe, we’ve been able to squeeze every last drop, and we make every drop count.

We’ve made sure our ingredients are legitimately the purest they can possibly be

Why Mad Viking?

Because the mad viking squeezes life and opportunity for everything it’s worth!

Whatever. My Beard Is Fine!

If you think this without owning beard oil, that means you don’t know what I’m about to tell you.

I want to let you in on an interesting fact on human behaviour. If you are at all interested in progressing in your career, the following will be of extreme importance.

It only takes 1/10th of a second to form an initial first impression about someone. In a meeting with someone new, you have just seven seconds to show that you’re trustworthy.

Your first impression matters. A lot.

Our brains are hardwired to judge everything we see on quick judgements.

You need to be certain you will be making a good one. Otherwise, you can stick with whatever lifestyle and happiness you have now.

That’s fine too, if you’re into that.

What It Means To Be A Man And To Fulfill Your True Potential

Studies have shown that beard growth is synonymous with testosterone in the body. The correlation isn’t perfect, but it is real.

So when the vikings thoughts beards were a sign of masculinity (yes, it's true), it looks like they were onto something...

Having a beard is literally showing your masculinity right on your face. Since anyone reading this has a beard, you probably all feel like this is true already.

These days, men have strayed pretty far from what a man is traditionally supposed to do.

In the modern world, we’ve found ourselves solving problems with non-violence. With words. With social skills.

I may be in the minority here, but I personally think this isn’t necessarily a good thing. Some people really do need a punch in the face sometimes…

But a man has to adapt. Men solve the problems which face them, no matter what.

This means not fighting when it’s not appropriate. It means thinking things through, even and especially when it’s hard.

It definitely means not being the guy on the wrong side of that equation.

And what happens when you adapt properly?

Not only will you make leaps and bounds professionally, but people will be fans of you as well.

Here’s how beard oil can help you in that journey. With its help, you can:

  • Instantly give a professional impression to anyone at a networking event, making even the top dogs take you seriously

  • If you aren’t already with someone, you can attract that girl who seemed downright unapproachable. If you ARE with someone, let her see the new you and be proud of her man again.

  • Take a giant leap forward with a promotion at work, ahead of your coworkers

  • Feel a little sense of pride every time you catch your reflection in your phone screen

  • Consistently look more put together than other men in the room who don’t know about this

Again, that doesn’t mean you can dress like a slob, not brush your teeth, and not be a likeable person and magically have beard oil solve all your problems.

But having this extra tool will move the needle forward that little bit more.

To Help You Make A Decision, I’m Going To Give Away Tons Of Stuff With Every Purchase

A quick search on Amazon is going to show you beard oils selling for at least $20 or $30.

For our blowout launch, the price for the Mad Viking Beard Oil is $13.97.

In other words, about one cent per use (depending on how long your beard is), or about the price of a cheap delivery pizza.

But you have to buy within the next 5 days, before midnight EST time this Monday, or else you will have to wait 6 more months when I launch a bigger campaign

And for you, since you’re here early enough, I’m throwing in some pretty sweet bonuses.

You’re also going to get a pack of Mad Viking Beard Shampoo. It’s another Nordic inspired addition to your grooming arsenal.

You’ve probably noticed that your beard hair is significantly different from your scalp hair—so why are you using the same kind of shampoo?

It’s okay. We’ve all been there.

I’m going to be giving this out at no extra charge.

It will:

  • Protect your beard from the harsh chemicals of regular shampoo, designed to attack the oils in your scalp hair

  • Offer you yet another shield against beard itchiness

  • Moisturize your skin to make you feel a low level of relaxation throughout your whole day

  • Reduce or get rid of beard-druff (and if you haven’t gotten this already, you don’t want to find out what it’s like... believe me)

I’m also giving out this Mad Viking Grooming Guide.

I’ve searched around, and I have yet to see a better guide on grooming yourself as a man than this.

Lots of guys don’t really try to take care of their beard, and so they don’t have a lot of knowledge on beard grooming. But once they look into it, it can be a Pandora’s box of completely overwhelming information.

This guide clears it all up.

In the Mad Viking Grooming Guide, you will learn:

  • Why beard shampoo needs to be separate and distinct from your regular shampoo (this will ensure you really look the best you can look) (pg. 9)

  • See page 8 to bust almost every myth about beard oil and and beard grooming once and for all

  • How frequently you need to use shampoo (DON’T mess this one up) (pg. 9)

  • Quickly and easily soften your beard to make it kissable and touchable (pg. 10)

  • How to groom if you don’t have the time or the energy (This one really is my own personal favourite) (pg. 17)

  • How often you should really swap out your razor cartridges (despite what the brave Gillette guys will tell you) (pg. 18)

  • You will learn 8 surprising secrets to making your hair’s texture look and feel incredible (pg. 28-31)

  • The definitive guide to the 17 beard styles, and how to trim them (these are ALL known by the best professional barbers… and you’ll be in the know) (pg. 35-52)

  • 7 of the most advanced beard care tips used by men in Hollywood (pg. 54)

  • How to interact with your barber in a way which makes him cut your hair to make you look like a badass day after day (pg. 57)

  • Take a look at page 53 to find out how to grow long, flowing hair without awkward in-between stages

  • How the desperate, scrappy online beard oil marketers have lied to you about beard growth, and how to get what they promised you anyway (pg. 19)

And some crazy advanced stuff, such as:

  • What egg wash can do for your hair (pg. 78)

  • A completely holistic look at how you can create a healthier body which creates you healthier hair (pg. 80-83)

  • How to increase your testosterone levels in a completely natural and ridiculously effective way (pg. 82-83)

  • Our secret list of foods and supplements to make your beard grow thicker (Yep, it sounds crazy. And yes… It works. But only in varying degrees, and, again, this depends on your genetics.) (pg. 83)

  • You’ll find out how to master the art of scalp maintenance in as little as one minute (pg. 84)

  • Why hot water is a bad idea for your look (pg. 10)

  • Why artificial grooming products make you psychologically weaker (Yes, this sounds insane, but there is a scientific reason why. I’ve linked research articles in the PDF which will shock you...) (pg. 11)

  • Why so many people choose the wrong types of combs (This often overlooked idea will almost certainly give you the kind of beard you’ve always envied.) (pg. 85)

And much, much more...

It makes me cringe to sell all this (my wife already told me it’s a bad idea).

But with this new release, I want to turn it into a primary product of mine. So I want to get good reviews from happy customers for my new, bigger campaign.

This sort of sale is pretty unsustainable long term though.

That’s why I’m only offering this for five days.

I’d Recommend You Buy Sooner Than Later—You May Find That This Opportunity Will End Even Sooner...

Here’s what I mean:

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It’s not just Amazon.

I have a subscribed email list of thousands of customers…

And believe me, they are very eager to try my new stuff whenever it comes out…

I only have an inventory of 700 of these for this initial launch.

After that?

It will be about 6 months before we begin our new, more official launch with this same awesome product.

I Will Give Your Money RIGHT BACK If You Decide You Aren’t Impressed

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I respect anyone who decides they trust me enough to buy form me.

In terms of dissatisfied customers, I’ve really not had this happen very often at all... but if it does, send me an email within 60 days telling me you’d like a refund.

I won’t hassle you. I won’t ask questions. I’ll give you your money back as soon as I get the email.

(Yes, this means there are refund junkies who will use my products just so they can refund… So be it.)

When You Click Away From This Page, You’ll Probably Forget To Come Back

And when you forget to come back, you’ll go back to your daily routine and forget about the whole beard oil thing.

I’ve been doing this marketing thing for a while now—I know my customers well!

You’re going to miss out on what’s waiting for you. Upgrading your appearance is one of the baseline things you need to do to succeed in life and have any influence over people.

That’s why people, like myself, go to the gym for years on end.

But this could be afforded by anyone on minimum wage…

And without your slightest edge, your competition at work will have that slightest edge on you…

...and it’s going to count.

So do yourself a favour and click that “Upgrade My Style" button.

There’s going to be a few boxes where you need to fill out your name, address and credit card information. After you do that, you can click “Confirm” and you’ll be done.

This offer only lasts until this Monday, and then we will be shutting it down for another 6 months. You’ll be kicking yourself when you see it later on.

And remember, a complete refund is just an email away (within 60 days of your purchase) if you’re not completely satisfied.

You will forget later. Do it now.

P.S. Maybe you’re like me and you scrolled to the bottom without reading anything.

Fair enough. It’s a lot of text.

Here’s the gist of everything above.

I’ve been working on a premium grade beard oil called Mad Viking Beard Oil for a long time with very specialized machinery and ingredients. I’m offering this now at only $13.97 for five days so I can get good reviews for a relaunch happening much later. On Monday, this whole thing is shutting down and you’ll have to wait another 6 months.

Oh yeah, and it’s going to be a higher price later on too.

And it definitely will not have these bonuses:

  1. I’m giving away Mad Viking Beard Shampoo with your purchase, which has gotten solid reviews already. It’s a product I’m very confident you’ll love.

  2. Lastly, I’m giving away a PDF on advanced beard care. If you’re serious about your look, the knowledge in this will benefit you immensely.

If you don’t like it, email me within 60 days of your purchase and get your money back with no questions asked.

Again, on Monday, this whole thing is shutting down.

Upgrade your style now.

FAQ

Will this beard oil work for me if I’m black?

I don’t care if you’re black, brown, white, or any other race. I don’t care if your beard is short, patchy, or curly.

This oil has been taken from the results of years of experimentation and feedback from my clients from every kind of situation.

What if my beard is patchy?

As I mentioned before, a patchy beard works too. But if you have a patchy beard, you’re more in need of beard oil than anyone else. Beard oil clears up your skin and makes your beard grow in thicker over a long period of time.

(This is no magic pill. There will likely only be a moderate increase in beard growth—but there will probably be something. This is not something I can guarantee for everyone.)

How do I know which beard oil is best for me?

Here are some simple steps you can follow to find out which brand will treat you best:

  • Ensure your beard oil has no synthetic ingredients, as these compounds do have potential to break down into estrogen and other compounds (which can psychologically harm you)

  • Ensure your beard oil has jojoba and argan as primary ingredients, as these will lead to proper beard health

  • Make sure your brand has exceptional reviews from all sorts of customers

(And just so you know… Mad Viking Beard Oil already has all of these qualities)